Ubisoft will 3D-print a new Notre-Dame Cathedral


The Catholic Church finds the idea preposterous.

Modern architects have lost the knowledge of working with wood and stone, all they know how to do are concrete bunkers or glass towers. Thus, the French Government found itself in a bind when trying to find a company to rebuild Notre-Dame cathedral in Paris after it was destroyed Monday night because a kid was fending off a devil in a cassock when he inadvertently dropped a candle. Thankfully, Ubisoft owns a 3D version of the cathedral, carefully built pixel by pixel in video game Assassin’s Creed Unity. French company Ubisoft logically volunteered to use its 3D model to print a new cathedral on top of the old one.

However, the company is facing resistance from the Catholic Church. Indeed, Pope French VI has shown himself hostile to renovations.

If the roof burned, obviously it is because God wills it. If God didn’t want for the roof to burn, he or she would have blown out the fire to extinguish it. QED.

Proud of his proof, he also added that the Vatican was too humble to finance the reconstruction and that Ubisoft alone should shoulder the cost of 3D printing. Players across the globe will contribute to the cost with the help of DLC and micro-transactions in all Ubisoft games.