Farming simulator 20 cancelled, Germany on the brink of civil war

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Angela Merkel’s political choices are once again called into question.

Chancellor Angel Merkel’s position was already weakened due to her handling of the migrant crisis during 2015, but a recent new decision was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.

Up until now, the German cultural industry was in full bloom thanks to strong state subsidies, allowing talented directors such as Uwe Boll to prove German know-how to an international audience, allowing automakers such as Volkswagen to demonstrate the country’s benevolence towards climate change, and finally allowing game development companies to let the German youth dream and evade from reality through the famous series Farming Simulator. To this day, 8 Germans out of 10 are Farming Simulator players; the 2 out of 10 left are migrants that have not yet received state computers, as the country’s far-right is blocking their access to traditional German culture.

The success of these games is so huge that several institutions tap into its trendy image to reconnect with the youth. Thus, it’s no rare for school pupils to gather around their teacher sitting on a TurboTractor X-543 by Mercedes, or to see pacific protests consisting of wrapping each other in straw bales before rolling onto the streets, pushed by the organizers in their comfortable BMW series 3 Q trucks.

All things considered, it was a wrong political move for the Chancellor to suddenly divert the flow of state subsidies from the video games industry towards the agrochemical industry in order to help Monsanto Bayer pay for the numerous settlements in court cases all over the world. Turns out that Giants Software, the company developing Farming Simulator, was forced to shut down and won’t be able to release episode 2020.

Since then, the situation deteriorated into bloodshed and anarchy on the streets of Berlin, with numerous citizens swarming the streets on their DestroTractors HedgePorg covered in gigantic sharpened metal spikes. So far, 29 people have been killed, 234 were injured. Under pressure, Angel Merkel announced her retirement from politics in 2021.

We are also very happy to learn that Uwe Boll will start filming Mad Max 5: Farming Road within the next days.

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