Bungie acquired by Epic Games: Fortnite coop mode in production
Halo and Destiny skins will be added to the game as well.
Behind the scene intel finally surfaced, and it turns out that Bungie was found in bed with Epic Games. The latter, benefiting from Fortnite’s success, has become excessively rich and showed its intent to become the sugar daddy of several development studios at the same time. In exchange for sizable funds, these development studios create games to be released exclusively on the Epic Game Store, a new rival platform to Steam on PC. Although Epic Games laid out a series of diabolical plans to dominate the entertainment industry, the story that interests us today concerns Bungie.
Bungie was picked because they are most famous for world-building shiny universes aimed at teenagers that don’t know any better.
No one remembers that Fortnite was initially a PvE game (Players vs Environment) that flopped. We are already the king of PvP (Players vs Players) with our Battle Royale mode, so now we want to bring in Bungie to overhaul our PvE experience.
The true reason behind this move is that Fortnite has not been a perfect family-friendly game. Whenever parents try to play with their kids, they get obliterated by dancing children. Whereas with a new PvE mode, kids can force their parents on a ride in the Party Bus and have a good time drinking digital cocktails, without fear of being busted by cops. What happens on tour, stays on tour.
To seal the deal between our two companies, every single Bungie employee had to lick my shoes. I had brought a new model of eco-friendly sneakers that day, made out of recycled resin. Apparently, the taste is addictive because there are constantly people licking my shoes in the office. Problem is, those ecological shoes get degraded by saliva and every evening I walk back to my Ferrari in my socks. Good thing I bought a hundred of these shoes, I’m doing my part for the environment.
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