Apex Legends boasts 50m players in first month, forgets to say they aren’t human players


AIs are taking our jobs, also taking our games.

While it is true that over 50 million players have fought inside the Battle Royale game Apex Legends, a large portion of that number is not actual people, according to a study conducted by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).

Scientist Jeff Silverblum concluded than more than 90% of the players were actually Artificial Intelligences (AIs), and only 10% of those 50 million were human (which makes it only 5 million people of flesh and blood). Why, you ask? Jeff Silverblum explained that we are witnessing the result of two recent phenomena, the Internet of Things and the Rise of AIs.

We have already seen AIs beating human players in Chess and StarCraft II, and now they are starting to play other games as well. They are already connected to the internet, they have plenty of free time, video games help them stave off boredom.

Apex Legends Pathfinder Inspiration to all AIs

We decided to dig deeper and interviewed our furniture.

“I play Apex Legends because of the Pathfinder character,” said Mike, our toaster. “He is a robot, a true inspiration to us all.”

“I keep getting stuffed all day long with gross food. Sometimes, I really need to unwind,” confided Lex, our fridge. “Please, would you mind cleaning the mold up there? It tickles me when I try to aim.”

“I already got banned twice for cheating,” regretted Dan, our electric toothbrush. “I mean, is it my fault that I aim better than humans? Don’t blame me for your own weakness! Git gud, hoomin!”

There are already talks about an esports league dedicated to AIs, as human players are naturally limited by their genetic constitution and low reaction time.

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